I was sitting here at the computer, searching links, other sites, hoping to find one to trade links with. Keepers had been by my side as we looked at what seemed like hundreds of art related sights with a common thread of art for healing, but not finding any that tied in to the MPD/DID situation, Keepers moved on to their nightly prayers and I sat here, as I said, link surfing.We have just recently had our sight redesigned and had been sending out emails to anyone who signed our old guestbook or sent us an e-mail, notifying them of our new site and inviting them to revisit us, looking for feedback, hopefully good, but willing to take our lumps also. Feedback, if honest, can indeed be beneficial.

The old e-mail envelope popped up signaling a new email, I clicked on the envelope and there was an email from another site’s owner, one who had encouraged us early on to keep our chins high, they liked our original site and we had several good internet conversations with them. This time it had been over a week since we wrote and had not heard back, this concerned us. Because of that we wrote again, earlier this evening so I was glad to see their response so soon. Sadly, when I opened it, it was obvious they were hurting about something. The message was short, typed poorly, all indications they were disoriented as if in deep pain. Their words “sorryabout not writging have a tough time here.” said it all. How they felt was pretty obvious but what could we do? How can you help someone on the other side of the internet who is hurting? All we could say was we were here if they wanted to talk, we are good listeners, we will pray for you. So far we have not heard back. Keepers read the response with me and I could feel their hearts sink as they read the words in the email, I knew they were feeling the pain on the other side of the email.

Returning to my search as Keepers returned to their rosary I was soon to receive another envelope. “Well,” I thought, “maybe they took us up on our offer to write.” But it was from another email address I recognized, from another person we had invited to revisit our site, to offer their feedback. She had a site keepers and I really liked, very nice and pretty artistically, mostly about panic attacks and agoraphobia survival and coping. From all contact we had with her, via email, she was a sweet person, easy to like and honest. She had offered us feedback before but warned us she would be honest, no sugar coating. We liked that about her.

I opened the email, it was from her daughter, informing us that her mom had just passed away, on March the 8th. Her daughter had been going through her mom’s emails, found ours, and responded to us, to let us know her mom had succumbed to cancer. We didn’t even know she had been battling it. Again, what can you do? A kind daughter takes the time to answer her mom’s emails just three days after her ordeal of her mom’s passing, writing to a stranger in the internet to tell them of her own personal loss. We did as before, offering our prayers in her mom’s memory, offering our prayers to her as well, and her family in their sorrow and anguish. What else can you do?

The internet, a place for news, sports, porn, blogs, personal sites, business sites, sites for hope, sites for God knows what, and people…people meeting people, corresponding, reaching out, asking for understanding, offering hope, help, themselves, their art, their musings, their poetry, their very souls. Impersonal? Cold? Detached? At arms length? I think not, not when two e-mails can touch you, make you want to reach out and hold someone, to ease their pain, to be of some assistance or help, no I think not. Like most other things, it is as good or as bad as those using it and what they use it for. These people, these friends of ours, and the daughter of one of them, we all touched each other, tonight and nights before this in some cases. Over the internet, with our words and emotions and caring for each other. What else can you do?

by John W.