Keepers come from a family with many professionals in it.  In fact, several of our relatives chose teaching as their career.  Our mother was a teacher as was one of our brothers and a female cousin of ours, also, became a teacher.  Only in hindsight do keepers realize that not one of these people chose their career out of a desire to educate the young.  In fact, just the opposite seems to have been the motive of each relative when choosing teaching as their career.

Therapist after therapist has asked keepers how the abuse that occurred in our childhood home never came to the attention of the proper authorities.  You see, for the four older children in our family, the abuse was considered quite severe and, at times. blatantly obvious.  Still, it was like no adult ever even noticed.  Through our therapy, keepers have come to realize that our mother being a teacher was a huge part of “keeping the family secrets”.  Keepers mother always taught at whatever school keepers and our brother were attending at the time.  This made Mom an ever present force in the lives of her children.  In fact, people would often comment on how lucky keepers were to have Mom always right there with us. For one thing, our mother kept us out of the realm of public schools and educated us through Parochial Schools.  Having our teachers as her peers set up a situation where Mom was always believed much more than her children.  Unusual bruises or burns were discounted when Mom would explain them away as clumsiness.  Any time one of us tried to tell what was happening at home–our words made it through the school grapevine in only a few minutes and good old mom was right there to discredit what we were claiming was true. In fact, keepers were often faced with the HONOR THY MOTHER AND FATHER commandment when we tried to say something.  A few of the nuns who taught us also accused keepers of being the worst daughters in the world when one of said anything negative about our mother. And keepers missed a great deal of school in childhood because our main job was to tend to our dying Grandma.  Being a teacher at the school enabled Mom to have keepers out of school so much without anyone even questioning the whys and wherefore of our absences.  I don’t know if Mom ever harmed one of her students but I do know she knew about keepers being abused and never did anything to protect us or speak out on what was happening.  And I know that good old Mom literally sold keepers out to the highest bidder more than once which often makes me wonder how she was with her own students in her classroom.

Then, there was our brother who was a teacher in spite of having very serious medical issues that were a direct result of neglect in his childhood.  He, too, taught in Grade Schools.  There were always stories about him floating around that spoke of his tendency to be inappropriate with young girls.  But no one ever did anything about it.  Only after his death did his wife clean out of his office at the school where he taught.  A couple of his desk drawers were locked.  Upon prying those drawers open, it was revealed that each one was full of magazines containing child p*rn*graphy.  This brother was, also, very active as coach for children’s sports teams for many years.  Keepers have come to fully believe that the only reason our brother chose teaching as his profession was that it gave him great access to his victims since the magazines in his desk truly point to him being a ped*phile.

Then, there is our cousin who has taught in secondary schools her entire career.  The only schools where she has taught have been the most dangerous schools in the area.  She tells tales of students in her classroom with bullets in their headbands.  She tells stories of how her life has been threatened by this student or that one.  Only as she and keepers spent time together a few years ago did she begin to reveal the truth of her dealing with her students.  Young teenage girls would confide in her that the teenager was being abused within the home.  As a professional, our cousin was legally required to report such allegations to DCFS.  However, her advice to the teenage girl was always to not “rock the boat” by saying anything to anyone else.  In essence, our cousin ignored the allegations of sexual abuse that came her way as a teacher.  Keepers believe that this is all true just as she relayed it to us because this is the cousin who confided in keepers that some of our young cousins in today were still being abused by keeper’s abuser and then pleaded with keepers to remain silent on what we were told as our cousin was afraid the mother of these youngsters would be “upset” if keepers came forward with what we were being told.  I have no idea why this cousin became a teacher in the first place but it does not seem like her motive was educating or helping young people at all.

Keepers have raised three external children which means we have dealt with many teachers over the years.  And we, also, have friends who are teachers.  Keepers do know that most teachers are dedicating to educating our young and care very much about their students.  Our own external children have had teachers that keepers respected greatly.  And teachers who really went the distance in helping our children learn when they were having difficulty in a given subject.  We also know teachers who have had the courage to report abuse in the home of a child when it was revealed to him or her.  From what keepers have seen and experienced, these good teachers are the norm much more than the exception.

However, in our family of origin, being a teacher meant something very different.  Keepers take no pride at all in coming from a family of teachers because their intent seems much more sinister and deceptive than it ever should have been.  From keepers perspective, the teachers in our family of origin only served to take the abuse that occurred within our family and spread it throughout the schools and classrooms where our mother and our brother and our cousin were employed.

To the good teachers out there–Thank you so much for all you do to educated our youngsters and protect them from abusive homes.

peace and blessings,

keepers