Today, keepers feel the need to put up a blog but have no idea what to blog about. This happens to be a period of time when our minds are on overdrive and working extra hard. In just a matter of a few days, our system has gone from feeling so low and so bad that none of us could find a way to function to feeling both excited and exhilarated by all that is happening in our lives. Keepers reaching a point of giving up was, indeed, an internal force at work–one where old tapes and messages took over as things seemed to be going wrong all around us. However, keepers coming back so quickly and with such energy has been a combination of both external forces and an internal willingness to get back up and keep on trying.

Long ago, keepers learned that there is no problem that has no answer. Every single problem or difficulty that presents itself in our lives has a right answer that will bring about resolution to whatever is unfolding. However, keepers tend to forget this truth when we are overwhelmed with problems that need answers. Our internal dialog turns from brainstorming to talk of giving up and how hopeless things are for us. We begin to remember the criticisms of others and we begin to recall all the failures keepers have experienced in life. At that point, we tend to forget all the progress keepers have made and how ingenious we have become at finding solutions where none seems even possible. It used to be that keepers would give up for months or years at a time. However, in today, our giving up lasts less than a week before someone in our system begins searching for new ways to work things out so that we can continue to thrive and work on KEEPERSKORNER. For us, the fact that every problem has an answer is something we need to learn over and over again by proving to ourselves that keepers are continually able to find answers that work in our lives.

Having survived all that keepers have in our lives, has left its scars on our system. That is for sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of our worst areas of having been damaged comes when we are trying to trust in a world that has always been untrustable for keepers. Still, we have managed to trust enough for KEEPERSKORNER to grow and thrive as the ministry we always dreamed it would be. But, that trust is always fragile and very breakable within keepers. Our lives have always been based on people who lied to us and on broken promises and dreams that never had a chance to come true. So, when things go wrong (as they often do) keepers can feel our trust in others crumbling in spite of our efforts to maintain trusting within our system. We find ourselves sinking back into believing things are the way they used to be which is where keepers fall apart and sink into a pit of despair. But, sooner or later, the people we have chosen to be a part of our lives and of KEEPERSKORNER always manage to come through in due time and show us their very best in caring about what we care about. In fact, it is hard for our friends and coworkers to understand why keepers ever lost faith in them at all. For us, it is easy to comprehend but no one around us has been through all that keepers have. We have to remember that and know that those we trust never ever mean to hurt us. Just as keepers are doing our best–the people in our lives are doing their best as well. If only keepers could imprint that on the inside of our minds to counteract all of our old distrusting tapes that play so loudly when we feel abandoned or betrayed or just plain let down.

Keepers also tend to forget that we are very very blessed to have been given the gift of living in multiplicity. We do know that many multiples see it as a curse somehow. In fact, keepers saw our multiplicity as nothing more than a burden and a curse for a great many years. But as we have healed we have come to see what a blessing it is for us to have so many people within this one body. If it were not for the alters, this body would never have made it to adulthood. That alone makes it a real gift for us to be multiple. It took us many years to realize how wonderful it is to be alive. If it were not for Terrence and Emily Ann and Beth and Polly and all the others, we would never have had a day when we rejoiced just simply because we made it through. In today,. our multiplicity works for us in so many ways as we work on KEEPERSKORNER with the secretary and front person and artists all cooperating together from within our system. Strange as it may sound, when keepers are feeling good–we give a great deal of thanks for the fact that we live in multiplicity and have each other to depend on.

Today, it seems like things are coming together once again. Within the next 24 hours we should have word on our website and our weblog. We have taken steps to bring more closure with our former therapist saga. Keepers have come back into balance with our John Michael and we are enjoying every moment of every day. We know that there will be a point where we fall down again but we also know we will get back up quicker and with more ease next time because every day keepers get stronger and more determined in some way that we never have experienced before.

The truth is that thriving takes a lot of work and can truly be exhausting. But each time someone looks at keepers and says “You’ve come a long way. Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!” keepers know that it is so very good to just be alive in today.

peace and blessings,

maggie