SETTING BOUNDARIES FOR OUR TOLL FREE NUMBER January 18, 2008
Posted by kprsjohn in Uncategorized.trackback
Over the last few days, a couple of situations have presented themselves via our toll free number. One was from a sister multiple who has been our dear friend for a year now. She was experiencing the revolving door phenomenon for the first time. By that, I mean she was having rapid switching with many of her alters coming out in a very short period of time. Keepers strongly recommended that this sister survivor call her therapist on the phone and seek professional care for what she was experiencing. Our friend chose to not make the call but to email her therapist instead. Unfortunately, her therapist has a track record of not calling when asked to do so in an email. However, keepers made the strong suggestion that our friend place the phone call because we care very much about everyone in this system and this is not a situation keepers are equipped to handle in any way.
Then, tonight, another call came in from another dear friend who lives in multiplicity. Her system has been having a very difficult time and has had physical problems on top of the multiplicity. This dear friend confided in us that she is once again throwing up blood. Keepers automatically began strongly urging this sister survivor to call her doctor which she did not want to do. However, throwing up blood is an extremely serious symptom and requires medical attention much more than it requires a friend on the other end of the line. This friend tends to think that keepers are blowing her off when we suggest she contact her therapist or call a doctor. Nothing could be further from the truth. We make these suggestions because we care very much and want our friend to have the appropriate care at all times.
Keepers value both of the above relationships greatly. We want to give our caring and support in situations like these. But, we would be grossly unfair to you if we stayed on the phone with you instead of getting you to make that call to your doctor or therapist. However, once that call is made and your professional is aware of the situation–keepers will give all the support we can to help you get to the doctors office or to listen after your therapist has helped with the revolving door effect. But that call to the professional who can help you needs to come before keepers offering our caring and support.
The truth is that our toll free number was set up to be a source of friendship for our sister survivors. That friendship is something keepers take very seriously and we always give our best when on our toll free number. But,. we have to ask that people respect that boundary where keepers have to say CALL YOUR THERAPIST or CALL YOUR DOCTOR. We only say those things when we feel they are necessary. We say them because we do care and we want the best for those who call our toll free number.
However, keepers are aware that there are those who will not make that call to the doctor or to the therapist. If it is a situation where keepers know how to contact the therapist ourselves, we will place that call immediately and leave it in the therapists hands to take action that is best for his/her client. Other than that, keepers can only bow out of the situation until appropriate medical or therapeutic intervention has taken place. After the urgency of the situation has been relieved, keepers are more than happy to be back to spending time on the phone together.
For KEEPERSKORNER, this is a very serious boundary that we must respect at all times. We do hope that the calls will continue to come in. We also hope that our reasoning behind this one boundary can be understood by our sister survivors who need help other than what KEEPERSKORNER is qualified to give.
Thank you,
keepers
I’ve had to do that before - call someone’s therapist or doctor when a friend was in danger. Even though they begged me not too. It is very hard to do. Thank you for having the courage and strength and love for others, that you are willing to do the right thing, even when it is hard. You do wonderful work here.
Thank you Enola, and kudos to you for doing the same. It is very hard to be firm in these situations, these are friends, but because they are our friends we really do want them to do what is in their best interest first and foremost. It was great to hear you say you understand.
peace and blessings
Keepers
It sounds like perfectly reasonable thing to do to me. it’s good do do it this way for both parties.
hugs
you are doing the right thing, i am glad to see you keep your boundries and care enough for your friends to do it. bravo. maybe we can see each other on im again sometime. i would love to talk to jm sometime, he sound like a very special man
I think this boundary is absolutely the right thing. It must be hard, particularly if misunderstood; I admire your love and courage.
i agree with you about your boundaries. it is for the safety of everyone - for the survivor and for yourself. the strength and love you have for others who are in a similar boat is a great support and so wonderful. the size of your heart must grow more and more everyday.
setting these boundaries must be very hard, but it is important. thank you for sharing and many hugs to you all … {{{keepers & JM}}}
we deeply understand having to set this sort of boundary up.. i, Kat, have had to do the very same thing with friends & members of my forum who have called me in times of crisis.. i had to be straight with them and do my best to encourage them to do what was best for them FIRST and then once they took care of themselves we would be able to talk and spend more time talking together.. but taking care of themselves was the MOST important thing to do..
we totally respect yall for everything you do for everyone Keepers.. for being there to listen, share, encourage, love so many and offer so much of your time.. your a true blessing as well as jm..
boundaries are always needed and need to be respected and treated with care and understanding.. i truly hope everything works out ok..
our heart goes out to yall.. we love yall.. (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
K n all
we have hung up and called our therapist and called keepers back its been the right thing to do
we agree Wolfbaby and thank you for the hugs!!
keepers
Dear lj
we too look forward to IMing again, hope all is well there for you.
peace and blessings
keepers
Thank you Kahless
we know all of you out there would do the same, this is a loving community always looking out for each others needs and welfare.
hope you are having a wonderful weekend
keepers
Dear miquie’s crew
thanks for the hugs!! we love them! thank you for understanding that we set those boundaries because we care and we realize we have a limit to what we can do to help and must defer to others better trained and suited.
peace and blessings
keepers
Dear K n all
thank you sweetie for your loving words, we appreciate them very much. it is so good to know that others understand and accept those boundaries because we hope they are in everyones best interest.
Take care
keepers
Dear JIP
Thank you!! Thank you for letting others know you understand. We will always try to think of what is in your best interest.
peace and blessings
keepers
I’m glad that you have set boundaries like this. I think it is in everyone’s best interests. It’s so hard to tell someone in need that you are not qualified to help but sometimes that’s just the way that it is. We can only do what we can do. Keep up the good work!
Dear Risingrainbow
When we started the 800 number we knew we had to set boundaries, telling people that is not easy and sometimes misunderstood, but so necessary. Thanks for your support.
peace and blessings
keepers