In adulthood, keepers feel like our spiritual lives have a very eclectic basis. Over the span of many years, keepers have taken a bit of almost every faith and put it all together into a belief system that works for us. Actually, after years of searching for what God means in our lives, we have found a sense of peace with the beliefs we have come to hold dear.

However, keepers were reared in the Catholic Church. We believe our Catholic upbringing was much more extreme than most childrens. This is because our mother always taught at the Catholic School we were attending. Her only friends were nuns of various orders. Our weekdays were spent in class with nuns. Many of our evenings were spent in the company of nuns and Saturday afternoons were spent at a convent where the cloistered sisters were all dear friends of our mother. As a grown woman, I look back on those years, and I can see that keepers feared these nuns much more than any of us respected them.

After being brought up so intensely Catholic, it is very difficult for keepers to turn away from all our childhood teachings. It is true, however, that keepers no longer follow any organized religion and our prayers are most often this keeper or that one simply talking to God about whatever is on his/her mind. In actuality, keepers relationship with God has worked well for us and it has brought tranquility to our system in many ways.

Part of growing up Catholic meant keepers developing a strong belief in patron saints. In our childhood, we were considered the poorest of the poor so keepers often prayed to St. Martin De Porres (the patron Saint of the Poor) to help our family from a financial stand point. At times, we even prayed to St. Anthony (the patron Saint of Miracles) when keepers were in desperate need of Divine Intervention. But, keepers always saved praying to St. Jude (the patron Saint of Hopeless Situations) for those times when all hope seemed to be lost and our hearts were filled with nothing more than despair. In all honesty, as keepers have moved forward on our healing journey, we have lost touch with our childhood prayers and our beliefs that patron Saints are there to help when all else fails.

It was a little over a year ago when keepers were curled up on the couch (very late at night) watching television. Marlo Thomas was doing an interview on a cable show. At one point, she was speaking about how St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital came to have that name. It seems that her father (Danny Thomas) was very down and out at one point in his life. His wife had just had a new born baby (Marlo) but Danny did not have the money to get his wife and new daughter released from the hospital. He did not know what he would do. One Sunday morning, Danny attended Church in his parish. The Homily that day was about St. Jude and his work with hopeless situations. As the collection plate was passed, Danny dug deep into his pockets and put every penny he had into the plate. I think he dedicated his giving that day to St. Jude. The very next morning, Danny received a call to do a radio that would pay the exact amount to bring his wife and baby girl home from the hospital. When keepers heard Marlo tell this story, we began remembering how many times St. Jude has given keepers hope when all we could find on our own was despair. And, now, over a year later, keepers can see how we have carried Marlo’s story in our hearts and saved its message for the moment when we would once again reach out to St. Jude to help keepers.

A few days ago, keepers began a Novena dedicated to St. Jude. (It is our first Novena in a great many years). This particular Novena consists of a series of formatted prayers. The entire series is to be said each day for 9 days and then keepers are to make public our devotion to St. Jude through this Novena. Truthfully, keepers are not far into the Novena yet but we are praying to St. Jude with the full trust of our little keepers that he will come to our aid and act on the behalf of our entire system. Each of our little alters (and our big ones, as well) have full confidence as we pray our Novena each and every day.

When keepers turned away from the Catholic Church, we honestly thought we were turning away from the beliefs as well as the people we had known. In fact, I think we vowed to never again return to those beliefs. But, these last few months, keepers have come to see that these beliefs truly have taken root in our minds and hearts because now we are turning back to the prayers that saw us through an extremely abusive childhood. These prayers have been added to our conversations with God where we share our thoughts and feelings. They are not a substitute for our spiritual way of living but an adjunct to what we have found to work for keepers.

They say that desperate times take desperate measures. The truth is that keepers feel quite desperate to have our motherhood healed in whatever way God deems best. Through our Novena to ST. Jude, keepers are asking for of keepers as mothers but the how and why of the healing are left in God’s Hands. At this point, keepers know full well that all of us in here lack the wisdom to know how to bring about healing in our motherhood. So, like we did as little girls, we turn to our beloved St. Jude and ask him to speak with God about granting us the healing we seek. Experience has shown keepers that we can trust St. Jude implicitly when we reach out to him through Novena. So, keepers as mothers can come to peace now because we have turned this all important part of our lives over to our Higher Power through St. Jude.

We have every confidence that healing of our motherhood is in the offing. Thank you St. Jude for acting on our behalf. Thank you, God, for hearing the prayers of both keepers and St. Jude.

peace and blessings,

keepers