**The above pictures really are of keepers dressed up as clowns. The room we are in is what used to be our family room but now is our art studio here at KEEPERSKORNER**

Every year on Valentine’s Day the private school our external children attended had an event which they called MISSION CARNIVAL. The name came from the fact that all proceeds from the day always went to various missions around the world. For the children, MISSION CARNIVAL was the biggest day of the year as far as school went. The entire gymnasium was transformed into games and carnival events for children from kindergarten to eighth grade. Each event cost less than a quarter to participate in and the entire year was spent collecting awesome prizes for the children to win. No child ever left MISSION CARNIVAL without a bag of neat prizes to take home and sort through.

In all honesty, I can not remember how it was that keepers became the clown for MISSION CARNIVAL.  Doing something like this was not in keepers nature at all.  It is true that keepers always tried to carry our fair share of the work for special events at the school and, in emergencies, would do things like be on of the attending parents on a field trip but that was very different than being the clown for the carnival which would occupy an entire day and more for keepers.  However, I do remember sewing the clown costume and stitching the red yarn into the cap for the clown’s hair.  But, I could have sworn the costume was being made for another mother more suited to playing clown for the children.

However it came about, keepers did play clown for MISSION CARNIVAL.  Perhaps, it was the white makeup or our being covered from head to toe but I do remember that keepers had an absolute ball being clown that day.  And I know that our internal littles were so happy to be a part of MISSION CARNIVAL in this way.  I remember how much fun it was to laugh and play with the young students.  I remember our joy at seeing little faces beam from ear to ear when keepers, the clown, handed out balloons.  I remember having sooooooooooooo much fun and leaving the carnival completely worn out at the end of the day.

The grade school that our external children attended was a place where keepers were very blessed to have friends and fit in.  The truth is that there were a multitude of times when keepers could only do the background work (like making signs or cleaning up after an event or sewing together costumes) and not even attend the actual event.  But the other mothers were always very understanding about keepers limitations which made us feel more comfortable and more able to participate.    Had it not been for the awesome kindness of the other mothers, I doubt if keepers could have ever found the courage to do things like be the clown for MISSION CARNIVAL.

This was one of those experiences where the outside of keepers appeared normal and in control (as much as any clown can be these things) while our internal landscape was full of chaos brought on solely by excitement.  As this day wore on, our little keepers were through the roof in terms of having fun doing something they had never experienced before.  Others only saw the shy smile of the clowns face as the day unfolded.  What I got to experience was the giggles of internal little girls and the even the internal guffaws of Terrence and his twin brother Patrick as they horsed around with external children.  Keepers knew that everyone knew whose mom it was behind the white painted face but somehow keepers felt a freedom to just have fun doing this which made it an experience keepers will always remember and cherish.

It is kind of sad because the school where our external children attended has been closed for a while now.  The children have all grown up and have families of their own in today.  But every once in a while an invitation arrives inviting this adult child or that one to the tenth or twentieth reunion of their particular class back then.  The fellow mothers that keepers once knew as friends have all moved on to new phases in their lives.  They have become people keepers remember fondly but have lost touch with over time.

Still, digging through our bin of pictures and finding keepers in our clown outfit brought back to us a time when life seemed to fit together so much better than it does now.  Seeing us standing in what was our family room all decked out ready to head off for the MISSION CARNIVAL brought a tear to keepers eyes and helped each one of us to remember how much fun we had taking on this experience so many years ago.

peace and blessings,

keepers