It was back in 1999 that we went live with our first edition of KEEPERSKORNER. From the beginning, keepers have wanted to put up an article on the subject of THE HEALING POWER OF LOVE. However, keepers have known that we are far from experts on the subject of love so we chose to pass writing this article off to someone with much more experience and wisdom than keepers. First, we approached a good friend of ours who happened to work in the mental health field. We thought this would be a good article for her to write. She accepted our invitation with enthusiasm as soon as she had time but the article never came about. Then, keepers asked a minister who has been a good friend for years to share her musings on the subject of THE HEALING POWER OF LOVE. Again, she was excited to be asked to write this but the actual article never came about. Then, keepers asked another minister to write the article. We got the same results as with the other two and decided to let go of having someone who knows about LOVE write this article. Still, for some reason, having an article entitled THE HEALING POWER OF LOVE is very important to all keepers. So, here we are–setting out to write it ourselves.

The truth is that keepers know very little about LOVE. We did not grow up in a LOVING world at all. In today, love still seems to escape keepers in a multitude of ways. But keepers have always said that we have been blessed because we have been part of one of the greatest love stories ever told. All keepers love our John Michael deeply and we know he loves us with the same depth and caring. So, keepers do know a little bit about love. If we can tap into that minimal knowledge and understanding, perhaps keepers can make a worthwhile statement on the HEALING POWER OF LOVE.

Several years ago, keepers were in a therapy session with a well thought of therapist who had absolutely no experience with multiplicity. This particular afternoon, we were discussing how keepers could be of help to our daughter who suffers from eating disorders. Early on in this session, this therapist told keepers that no one could really help our daughter–not even her mother. He went on to say that this is a battle our daughter would have to fight all alone–just as every other client has to do. For keepers, this statement was a huge point of contention and one that we struggled with for a long time. –even after our fourth and final session with this therapist.

From experience, all keepers know what a healing experience it is to work with a good therapist. We know the importance of this in dealing with our own multiplicity and in being the mother of someone with major eating disorder issues. Keepers know, full well, that having a quality relationship with one’s own therapist is vital to the healing process. But keepers found that our multiplicity existed in the two or three hours of therapy we had each week AND it also existed in the the other 168 hours of the week when we were out here in the real world. So, eventually, keepers came to the conclusion that therapy–alone–was no where near enough to heal our system of alters. Also, we saw that therapy alone was no where near enough to heal our daughters problems in life.

Since keepers came into adulthood with a history of severe abuse and a mind that our external children labeled as shattered, we were not very good at having relationships. Keepers were hard wired to expect being hurt or abandoned or betrayed by anyone we loved or trusted. We focused on those who left keepers feeling this way so that we could protect ourselves from ever having to hurt like that again. Our focus on this was so strong that keepers neglected to see the people who were treating us with LOVE and were going out of their ways to help keepers stay safe. It was only as keepers could lessen our focus on those who brought us so much pain that we could actually see how many people around us were giving keepers THE HEALING POWER OF THEIR LOVE.

For nearly fifty years, the most crippling thing for keepers was our aloneness on this earth. We had dealt with therapists who told keepers that we were the only multiples who felt this way or did those things. Whenever keepers were having problems our own son would look us dead in the eye and say IT REALLY SUCKS TO BE KEEPERS. For a great many years, the only truth keepers knew was that we were all alone with both our multiplicity and our painful abreactions. For each one of these years when keepers were so consumed with aloneness, we actually did very little healing. Regardless of how hard we tried, making progress of any kind was, virtually, impossible for our system.

It was only after we had left our former therapist that keepers had the epiphany of realizing that we are not alone on earth as we journey forward. Our John Michael has always been right there–patiently waiting for keepers to be healthy enough to accept his love and caring. Once keepers were able to do that, a few other people who really treat keepers with love came to forefront and reached out caring hands to everyone in our system. Some of these people existed in our actual world. Others came to us through cyber space but it matters not how these people are in keepers lives. The only thing that matters is that their love has had INCREDIBLE HEALING POWER for all keepers.

For our system, it was never enough that love was coming in to us. We found it just as important that love was going out to others from within our system. Keepers have learned that one without the other is not giving us the full benefit of THE HEALING POWER OF LOVE. If keepers only have LOVE coming in to us without our replenishing the LOVING SPIRIT–we see ourselves as nothing more than takers and that is not a place keepers ever want to be. If keepers are only giving LOVE without anyone every stopping to replenish our LOVING SPIRIT then we come to see ourselves as fools because we have allowed that good and caring part of us to be depleted and even overdrawn which causes our system to shut down from feeling our aloneness once more. In essence, keepers have learned how wonderful it is go be the person who cares so much about others AND we have, also, learned how wonderful it feels to have others care so much about us. Somewhere in those words is THE TRUE HEALING POWER OF LOVE.

Since keepers grew up learning nothing about love from those who raised us, our experiences with love have always been a balancing act. We walk the tightrope of having loving relationships and find happiness in sharing love with others. But, for us, when someone leaves keepers feeling abandoned or tricked or betrayed or even attacked in any way, keepers tend to shut down all love going in and out of us. I can not explain the whys and wherefores of this except to say our emotional pain is so great at those times that keepers fully believe we will never deal in LOVE again. Still, somehow, time heals those wounds and keepers find ourselves LOVING even more fully than ever before as we come out of our wounded spirits.

Someone once said that loving is not always easy but it is always worth it. Keepers know all too well how difficult and painful it is to take a chance on LOVING or even in BEING LOVED. There are so many pitfalls and so many ways we can get hurt. But each and every time keepers have had any relationship based on real, true, mutual love–the risks and the effort has turned out to be well worth it.

It is very true that there is tremendous healing power in the therapeutic situation. That is why therapy exists as it does in today. But it is also very true that there is tremendous HEALING POWER IN LOVING AND BEING LOVED. For keepers, it has taken both of these healing powers to make our journey to a better place possible for those who live in our system of alters.

peace and blessings

keepers