Early this afternoon, our John Michael called keepers from work.  On his lunch hour–he had gone out and done some visiting of our blog friends.  His call to us was to alert keepers that one of our dearest blog friends had put one up saying that her system was surrendering because they had no more tolerance for the pain that some family members were causing her by way of attacking her on this level and that level.  This blog friend has been enduring attacks for several months now.  Those attacks are coming at a time when this blog friend is trying to stay strong for her own adult children who are having one crisis after another right now.  Keepers went out and read this blog and I can tell you–it broke our hearts.  Partly, because keepers have spent months going through much the same thing with our so called family.  But also because we have known this blog friend for a long time now and we have seen her character and kind heart as our friendship has deepened over the last year or so.

Somehow, knowing this is happening to a dear friend made keepers sit back and look at what family really is all about.  Technically, family means those that are born on our bloodline.  The people we share common DNA with.  It also include spouses who have married into such a group of people.  So, keepers sat back and looked at what our biological family is all about.  It was not a pretty picture at all.

Keepers family consists of a brother that is so off the wall–a judge has had to take guardianship of his 54 year old life and commit him for treatment. It consists of a cousin who is a teacher but fails to acknowledge and report child abuse when it comes to her attention.  She worries more about the stress the parents are under than the damage being done to the child. It consists of a son who has extremely inappropriate behaviors with the feet of young women.  His wife knew full well of the problem and allowed it to continue in spite of the danger to her own daughter.  Then there is our daughter with chronic eating disorder issues.  She has sucked so much money out of this family for treatment and has made little real progress.  The reason for this is that she has never been open or truthful with any one of her several therapists.  Then, there is her husband who does such things as throw M&Ms on the floor for his toddler daughter to pick up and eat.  This same father to very little girls refused to spray for spiders when discovered in his home–saying that spiders were a fact of life and that his little girls had to learn that. Then, there is the other daughter who disappeared from our lives years ago.  It has been presented that this daughter contacted us some months ago through our blog.  But if it was her–she presented us with nothing more than games.  She used many different identities in contacting us but each one traced back to the same IP address.   She was full of attacks but made no attempt at finding resolution.  She used a temporary email address which left keepers unable to respond personally.

These are the people who are on keepers blood line.    Their definition of love is that keepers should let them do whatever they want.  If keepers love our brother we will take him into our home and let him drink himself to de*th within the safety of these walls.  If we love our son, we will turn a blind eye to his behaviors and accept his wife while she maligns us to everyone who will listen.  If we love our daughter, we will continue to fork out money and give up our time so that she can have the freedom to do her thing while accepting being rejected as not good enough for so many happy events.  We will think it is so cute for Daddy to throw candy on the floor for the little girls to eat and we will trust that a spider will not bite one of them.  If we love our other daughter, we will do as she demands without question or needing any personal contact.

Keepers would feel horribly guilty for refusing to deal with our family any more and for reporting things that needed to be reported.  We have felt guilty in this family for so many years.  But, the truth is, that keepers have come to know many families very similar to ours.  We have seen and experienced the phenomenon of being drug down by these people who share our common DNA.  But when all is said and done–keepers have had a choice all along–we could either chose to follow the path that our family members have chosen or we could break away and find a new and healthier path that leads to better and more loving relationships.

The word FAMILY is a very important word to all keepers.  But this thing that we call family is not a family at all.  It is more a cov*n of people who band together and protect each others sick behaviors and call that love.  It is a family where grown up convenience and fun always comes before the safety and welfare of the children.  It is a family that still perpetuates the same behaviors that caused keepers to live in multiplicity.  It is a family that attacks viciously and cruelly against those who try to stand up for the welfare of the children.  It is a family that makes absolutely no sincere attempt to heal in any way.

At this point, keepers blood family is one where we have turned to the police for protection from our relatives.  This was done because the attacks were so severe and unrelenting.  Keepers were astounded when the police did not look at keepers and say WHAT KIND OF AWFUL PERSON ARE YOU? Instead we were told that those we are dealing with are severely disturbed human beings and that we should sever all ties.

Like I said, the word FAMILY is a very important word to keepers.  But our definition of FAMILY is a group of people working together for the common goal of a better life for everyone concerned.  Our definition of FAMILY is a group of people who care about each other and speak with respect to each other and stand up together for what is right.  Our definition of family is a group of people who value each other’s opinions and uniqueness.  Our definition of FAMILY IS people who take the time to work things out and who have an understanding of what it means to bother with one another.

Keepers dream of having the family we just described.  We dream of the day when family wants us around and when working things out is a way of life.  We dream of symbolically linking arms with our loved ones and marching out into the world with love and unity binding us together.  This is a dream keepers fear will never be reality for us.

Oh, wait, it is already reality for keepers.  Our true family is with those who come through KEEPERSKORNER each and every day.  It may not be blood family but it a very good family and KEEPERSKORNER has become a wonderful place to call home.

To my friend that wrote her blog about surrendering today, I say please look around you and release yourself from the bonds of DNA and see how very many people really care about you and are here for you when you are ready to reach out.  We–all of us–are you family, too.

peace and blessings,

keepers