Keepers grew up in a world where nothing was ever predictable and counting on anything was, indeed, foolish for us to do. We could think things were safe and, in a split second, our world would turn upside down and anything good would suddenly turn very bad.  Most children woke up most days knowing he/she would eat breakfast–board the school bus–learn math and science and history and English before reboarding the school bus for his/her ride home.  This was never the case for keepers–in spite of the fact that our mother was a teacher and knew the importance of education.  Summers and weekends were even more unpredictable and unsettling for keepers.

Because of our background, keepers came into adulthood wanting so much to have things we could count on.  It hurts keepers very much when someone claims to be our friend but consistently fails to return phone calls.  It cuts us to the quick when someone makes a promise to us and then disregards that promise without even calling to let us know that promise is going to be broken.  It destroys our self esteem to spend a day cooking a dinner only to have our guests just simply not show up.  These types of things take keepers back in time to when life was completely unpredictable for us and brings out emotions that are better of left buried inside our system.

In today, these things are just a fact of life–not only for keepers but for everyone we encounter in our lives.  People do not see the importance of returning a phone call.  Nor do they put value on their own promises.  Instead, the promises made mean nothing any more.  In fact, as keepers have come to understand that things like work ethics have long been lost out there in the world.

The truth is that the world is never going to change and working with keepers sensitivities is too much to ask of anyone.  So, the best thing keepers can do is change ourselves to a point where we can be okay with the phone calls that do not get returned or the promises that never seem to be kept or the dinners that go to waste because our guest chose to not show up and not call.  Keepers need to find a point where we can maintain some self-esteem and be happy in spite of the fact that this is an inconsiderate world where things like predictability no longer exist.  Not and easy task for us to take on but a very necessary one for keepers to master.

Life here at KEEPERSKORNER has been one long lesson in keepers learning to live with unpredictability.  We wake up each morning not knowing what work we will be able to get done because we never have any idea what phone calls will be returned or when our updates will be done or if the U.S. will finally deliver that package that was mailed to us weeks ago.  We never know if our spiritual director will show up for our 2:00 appointment or if she chose to stay late at her luncheon that day.  We never know if this will be the day when art work is dropped off for us to mat and frame.  We never know when someone is going to call and tell us that they need their work done today but the items needed to do the work have yet to arrive.  We never know if this will be the day when keepers get blind sighted by someone who is angry with us for feeling frustrated.  We never know if this will be the day when we finally hear something about our former therapist.  We never know if this will be the day when if this will be the day when our external children attack again in comments that the police and others tell us to simply delete without even opening or reading.

Because of keepers background unpredictability is very hard for us to handle.  So many things hurt keepers so badly even though we have no right to feel that pain.  Still, that unpredictability is an integral part of our doing KEEPERSKORNER so it is something we are learning to deal with by showing grace and dignity in the face of our own great frustration and hurt.

I think that anyone keepers have promised to call will tell you that they can count on that call coming in when promised.  I think that anyone who is expecting a package from KEEPERSKORNER will tell you that package arrives with haste and predictability.  I think that anyone who has a promise from us here at KEEPERSKORNER will find that the promise is kept and that we see through whatever we say we will do.

Now, I know that some people are going to tell me that keepers are full of ourselves for saying what I say in the above paragraph.  But, I do not think that is true at all.  i think that keepers know the hurt of unreturned phone calls and broken promises and being last on someone’s priority list.  We live with these hurts each and every day just as we did as little children.  We work hard to make ourselves predictable and dependable because we do not ever want to cause others the kind of hurt that keepers constantly live with.

I know, too, that people say that keepers are selfish for feeling frustrated.  I apologize for feeling that way because keepers know we have no right to feel it.

peace and blessings,

keepers